My Journey with the Ancestors- The Invitation

Who Are our Ancestors?

The first time I heard the word ‘ancestor’ I was baffled. If I had a dictionary on hand, I would have immediately looked up the definition of the word. Finding myself dictionary-less, I relied on the expressions and body language of the people around me for a sign as how to give off the perception that I knew what ‘ancestors’ were. It was a spiritual “fake it til you make it” moment. When I finally could sneak a google search, the reality hit me: oh, they meant dead people. Not just any dead people though, my dead people.

I felt time slow to a grinding halt as all my synapses began to contort around the concept of the thousands and thousands of people who had made my life possible. 

In that same moment, the reality of how utterly disconnected I was from a massive part of who I am came flooding in. All my life I just thought of me, my immediate family, and my Grandparents. The tiny little autonomous bubble of pervasive individuality I had been living in had just been popped. I was still warming to the concept of ancestors when I found myself at a three day ceremony dedicated to none other than, you guessed it, the ancestors. 

Let’s pause here for a moment and consider how things like this happen. How did I end up in a place where I would spend 3 days honoring my ancestors at the same time the reality of them was settling in? How do things like that happen for any of us?

There are so many explanations for synchronicity, but one I find particularly fascinating is something called sympathetic resonance.

Wikipedia defines it as “a harmonic phenomenon wherein a formerly passive string or vibratory body responds to external vibrations to which it has a harmonic likeness.” In this instance I like to consider myself as the “formerly passive vibratory body” (it's not a super flattering description, but I am okay with that). The key word here is formerly, because I responded to the external vibration of my people, my ancestors. Their likeness to me (because I am them and they are me) is what brought us together in a very conscious way. And my awareness of them was about to get even more real. 

Releasing Ancestral Grief

When the ancestral ceremony commenced, I approached the unknown with curiosity and openness. As night fell and our group sat together in a circle, a question was posed to us; were any of us willing to release inter-generational ancestral grief through a ceremonial head shaving? I peered at the circle to see the reflection of my facial expression pasted on those around me; wide eyes with mouths dropped open. What happened next, I will never forget. A feeling deep inside my body began to take root. It was as if electrical impulses were making my internal organs quiver.  As the feeling grew in intensity, I tried my hardest to deny I was having a response, but it was indisputable. Overwhelm engulfed me as I felt my head begin to shake back and forth with the thought; “Oh no….ohhh no.” Then the realization came over me that if I denied THIS, this intuition, this invitation, that I would be denying something primal and necessary. Thoughts flooded my mind as I imagined my family freaking out, my clientele thinking I was insane, and the public sneaking curious looks at me.

Slightly dissociated from my body, I heard my voice utter “YES.”

When we broke for a break, I found it hard to speak. I could not latch onto clear reasoning or understanding. In passing, a friend mentioned her fear of being perceived as a Neo Nazi if she had a shaved head. I felt the blood leave my face and tears well up. My Grandparents has been detained in Nazi detention camps for four years during WW2. That is when the knowing came; my hair was a minuscule offering that I could make to honor the suffering my Grandparents and so many others had endured.

The long, blonde hair that my Grandmother would brush, braid, and twirl into ovals at the nap of my neck was a gift for these ancestors.

In the woods that evening, with song and prayer, a group of men and women took my hair. They gently cut every strand down to my scalp while a razor erased the rest. I sobbed as I felt the intention and care behind their craft, all the while knowing the atrocities that were enacted in the camps. The grief of generations streamed down my face and I felt oddly at ease. The quivering in my abdomen subsided as I sat on a tree stump, my bald head caressed like that of a newborn baby. My hair was my offering to them and the beginning of a lifelong journey with my people.

Our ancestors know how to get our attention in ways intrinsic to who we are.

Connecting with our ancestors does not have to be an intense experience like the one I had, but it was what I needed at that time. They know us and they know how to grab our attention. There are many ways that we can revive our relationships with them, and yet I have discovered over the years that there are techniques that will ensure ritual safety, healthy connection, and address intergenerational trauma in a gentle way. Since that time in the woods I have repaired my relationships with all of my lineages; despite the fear of what I might discover or my dislike for some of my deceased relatives, my connection to the thousands of vibrant beings within the energetic field of my DNA has been profound. With ancestral healing our sense of who we are deepens, incessant patterns that can hinder our evolution are addressed, cultural amends to heal systemic inequities can be made, and we find ourselves assuming our rightful place among a history of powerful people.

“If you look deeply into the palm of your hand, you will see you parents and all generations of your ancestors. All of them are alive at this moment. Each is present in your body. You are the continuation of each of these people. “

~ Thich Nhat Hahn

Jennifer Hudziec is a Certified Ancestral Repair Practitioner with the Ancestral Medicine Organization. She is a Ritualist, End of Life Doula, and Fire Walk Instructor. The ceremony she references is an Ancestralization ceremony brought to the West by Elder Malidoma Somé.

Jen offers private sessions & group work and may be reached at jenhudziec.com

Photo Credit: Om Prakash Sethia via Unsplash

Following Our Roots Home

WELL, how’d those first few weeks of 2020 go for ya?

Look, I am an eternal optimist (you can insert finger down your throat here if your a pessimist. Its all good, we can coexist). But, WHOA.

Sometimes the gifts in difficult situations are really hard to decipher. By the end of the first day of the new year, I had been prodded to unwrap my package of so-called “gifts.” So, I did what any self-deprecating optimist would do; I dove in. What I found was an invitation to come home.

Turning to the wisdom of the Dagara cosmology, this year of Earth calls us to find our way home.

Essentially, we are invited on a pilgrimage to come home to ourselves. When we accept the invitation of homecoming it is more than “an instance of returning home,” as defined by Oxford. We are guaranteed an unforgettable journey. And let me tell you, the journey home is not always accompanied by rainbows and unicorns.

Slowly, I began to understand that part of my homecoming was to dig deeply into my ancient roots.

I won’t digress here, but I love metaphor. For a second, if we pretend we are all trees (which many of us would prefer as opposed to being humans) then our roots would be the foundation which hold us up. Simple enough. As humans what holds us up? There are many things, but in this Earth year let’s consider just a few:

Our Connection To The Earth

Literally, the ground that holds us up. Are we in right relationship with the land we live on? Do we know who inhabited the geographical area we call home long before colonization took place? Do we maintain connections to the spirits of the land and nature? Do we source vitality from our connection to the great mother and if so, how do we reciprocate? All good questions to consider. When we consciously tend our connection to the land with Earth honoring actions, we establish a sense of place. With a sense of place intact, we become grounded and can move into a relationship of reciprocity with the planet and all its relations.

Our Ancestors

I used to have no clue as to what this word meant. I was not brought up in an environment of ancestor reverence, but thankfully I learned through my experience with a Dagara Elder. There are various types of ancestors according to Steven Farmer, but I am speaking here to our blood ancestors; the people we are genetically related to over millennia. If ever there were roots to a tree, then these be them. Unearthing the story of our people is the ultimate homecoming. If you cut off the roots to a tree, it will die. As humans, we often cut off our own roots because we either don’t like what we see and/or it is too emotionally difficult to manage the pain of the last few generations. I totally get this, BUT it is important to remember that our roots go wayyyy further than just our remembered people. Our lineages are ancient. And those folks have some pretty amazing wisdom to share with us.

Our Identity

By this I am not referring to the social constructs that we often equate with our identity. What I am getting at here is the cultural heritage of our genetic make up. Our DNA holds vast stories upon which we are built. Checking into the epic tales of those amazing little double helix spirals can fill in the blanks of who we are and where we came from. With this knowledge and understanding we empower ourselves, not from an ego place, but from a place of activating a collective consciousness within ourselves. We all long to belong. When we unravel the mystery of who we came from, our sense of belonging matures and our identities expand into the macrocosm of human evolution. This understanding provides us a deep well to tap into when life requires courage and resilience.

Our roots give us resilience. Without roots to anchor us, it makes it more difficult for us to grow strong and withstand storms.

Here I offer a possible framework should you feel called to come home. Everyone’s process looks different, this is just one way to get started.

Ancestral Work

By using guided meditation, the drum journey, or whatever means you prefer to drop you down into an altered state of consciousness (substance free of course) you can access some pretty powerful ancient beings in your lines. Using your intuition to connect to your ancestral guides is very empowering. The beauty of this process is not getting trapped in the misgivings of generations that are most recently deceased. By calling on the older, wiser, and healthier ancient ones to help heal your lines you’re: 1. not going it alone and, 2. helping to elevate your lines in general so you and future generations can have a solid, healthier root system.

DNA Test

Ahhh, the ongoing saga of DNA tests. I cannot recommend one over another, because honestly, I just picked one and submitted it. I didn’t want to expend energy toiling over comparing products. I went with Ancestry (it’s half price every November) and got my results broken down into percentages of ethnicity with regional mapping. I personally appreciated that the results came with a brief historical overview of each particular region. These snippets of historical information and ethnography are what you can use to dive deeply into the identities of your people.

Curiosity and Tenacity

These are two of my most favorite companion words (like how peanut butter and fluff go together if you’re from New England). I highly recommend mustering up lots of curiosity and tapping into a great well of tenacity to do this next task: getting super detailed oriented with the snippets of generic history provided the DNA test. Write down every word you do not understand. This more than likely will apply to regions, time periods, and groups of ethnic peoples. By the time I had picked through one snippet of my heritage there were words, lines, arrows, and circles scribbled all over a pad of paper that made some sort of crazy sense. You too will be able to see aspects of your hobbies, interests, and vocation as reflections of your lineage. Further confirmation of your ancestral identity may arise from your body wisdom; chills, waves of heat, and sobbing are all indicators that your DNA is jumping for joy at your homecoming.

Paradoxically, as we unravel the tangled roots of our ancestry we concurrently weave together a stronger foundation to hold us up.

We spend so much of our lives looking forward wondering who we are, where we are going, and what we should do with our lives. In constantly looking forward, we often overlook the gifts from our ancient past. As interesting and amazing though they be, the revelations we receive along the way are not always fun. Our ancient past also includes travesties; our people have been both the oppressors and the oppressed. Acknowledging this part of our root system is difficult, but it is a part of us and is healthier to integrate than suppress.

The road to home takes us to a place where we stand in reciprocity with the land which holds us and our indigenous roots. Our homecoming is a journey to our elevated ancestors who are willing to offer guidance and inter-generational healing. It also takes us down a path to connect with the identity of our heritage and the story of our peoples. Our homecoming is not an instance. Rather, it is a lifelong process that, if undertaken, will strengthen the core of who we are so we can weather any storm.

Jennifer Hudziec is a Certified Ancestral Repair Practitioner with the Ancestral Medicine Organization. She is a Ritualist, Animist, and Fire Walk Instructor. Jen can be reached at jenhudziec.com

Credits

Ancestral Medicine: Daniel Foor PhD
Photography: Nick Fewings